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I've seen God by ~fairyinboots:iconfairyinboots:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open




God is everywhere, I've been told.

They're right.
I've seen Him.

I've seen God in the tip of every knifeblade.
I've seen God in the murderous twinkle in a man's eye.

In every bloody headline.

In every back-alley coat-hanger operation.



It's true, God's hand touches many things.
Let it not control mine.
©2003-2008 ~fairyinboots
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Submitted: November 13, 2003
File Size: 495 bytes
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Comments: 5
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Author's Comments

Just some thoughts


I haven't had the time for such things these days...


not spare thoughts, anyway.
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~mrmcpheezy:iconmrmcpheezy: Nov 13, 2003, 5:22:47 PM
I like this, but I would remove the last line. It makes your point far too obvious. I think the affect is greater wihtout it.

You may want to reconsider your choice of details. The "murderous twinkle in a man's eye" isn't something many people can relate to. "knifeblades" and " coat-hanger operations" work well. Yeah. Just a thought.

Well done. I think you tackled this topic fairly well.
~anduril:iconanduril: Nov 13, 2003, 7:56:59 PM
Extremely dark and I def. don't think I can agree with what your stating here but you did say it fairly well. I have to agree with Mrmcpheezy, take out the last line. Its too abrupt, too obvious what your spitting on.

I actually wouldn't mind even more lines, more descriptions. It almost feels too short, an abrupt end. I'd love to hear what other thoughts you could come up with :)

--
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Emerson

Pennsylvania Deviants - Come see the Keystone
~boxingrebellion:iconboxingrebellion: Nov 17, 2003, 8:47:45 PM
You know what I think?

I think I want to have a looooooooong conversation with you about what you think about this. Damn cool idea. I like what you're saying... a lot. Last line or no last line.

:D

--
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."

:: Kurt Vonnegut ::
~netguru:iconnetguru: Nov 18, 2003, 4:18:52 PM
*reads*

--
=The Love Bunny=
:heart: Love Overrides All. God = Love. Any Questions? :heart:
:jsenn: Bunny's LJ Journal :jsenn:
*Liri:iconLiri: Nov 23, 2003, 9:19:32 AM
Ouch...
Ok, this one's harsher, a little more blunt. And angry. I can understand that- I get upset every time I hear about wars done in the name of God. To me that's a human excuse, a human reason.

--
Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down to the green valleys of silliness
-Wittgenstein
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